DOA: Dead or Alive 4K 2006

To be honest, I don’t even know how to describe my impressions of this movie... Probably because it’s aimed at a very niche audience, which I apparently don’t belong to. But I’ll try to break down everything in this movie and come up with a final verdict.

So, what do we have? I’ll start with the positives.

First, and this is no secret, the main focus is on the leading actresses’ looks. Jamie Presley and Holly Valance may never become outstanding actresses, but their looks are certainly on point.

Second, the visuals. Everything is shot in a glossy, vibrant style; it’s truly a pleasure to watch. They squeezed every last drop out of the relatively small $30 million budget, for which I thank the filmmakers.

Third, the fights themselves. While they look implausible, they’re very dynamic and natural.

That seems to be all the pros. Now let’s talk about the cons.

First is the lack of meaning. The creators decided not to bother with it at all, which is typical for films like this, but they could have at least slipped in some minimal idea into the film

Second—the film’s dramatic structure. There’s basically no acting to speak of, nor any dialogue with even a shred of meaning. Eric Roberts, playing yet another self-obsessed scoundrel, never ceases to be a drag from film to film. I’d like to suggest he learn at least one new smirk, because it feels like he has partial facial paralysis—he’s had the exact same expression in every movie for the past 15 years...

The humor in this movie isn’t even aimed at schoolchildren, but at 3- to 5-year-olds—it’s that shallow...

Summary. Whether or not to watch this movie depends on what you want to see.

If your goal is to switch off your brain after a long day on the couch with a bottle of beer, watching glossy, bloodless fights featuring very pretty, curvaceous ladies—then this movie is highly recommended for you. If, on the other hand, you’re looking for something to think about, there’s far more of that in a Viska commercial than in this movie.