Dark Shadows 4K 2012

There was Barnabas Collins (Depp). He “loved” one woman, then another. He became a vampire. He slept for 200 years. He broke free from his chains. He returned to the estate. He called Caroline (Moretz) a whore. To the tune of a lively song, he renovated the mansion. To the same tune, he revived the fishing business. And to yet another old-fashioned tune, he “fell in love” with Angelina (Green).

That’s where it all began. Or did it all start earlier? Or maybe even after that?

The main problem with Burton’s new film is the huge plot holes, which the filmmakers patched up with clichés and tropes. Yes, no one expected anything innovative or interesting from the film to begin with, but they could have, as before, smoothed over the flaws with a skillfully crafted atmosphere. After all, the setting couldn’t be more perfect: a small town, an old manor, and a flamboyantly dressed Depp. But, alas, Burton seems to have forgotten what it’s like to live up to the high standards of a master of dark, gothic films.

The film periodically plummets into an abyss of unfunny jokes; then, after scraping its way back up, it gets knocked out again by yet another predictable gag or “eye-popping” special effects. Regarding the latter. For comparison, take Burton’s last good film, "Sweeney Todd", which was made on a budget one-third the size of "Dark Shadows". But it had an order of magnitude more visual flair, atmosphere, and dark humor. And Carter was actually acting in that one, too, rather than just Depp pulling all sorts of antics in front of the camera. Oh well. Things used to be better back then.

The film features some decent background music; family conflicts, set against that same backdrop, play on the emotions of overly sentimental viewers; Bella Hitchcock turns out to be one of the most beautiful girls… Though who cares, when the decline of a once-great director has become all too obvious. And the saddest thing is that, looking at Burton’s last two films "Alice in Wonderland" and "Dark Shadows", you realize that this can no longer be stopped.