Star Trek: Section 31 4K 2025

Well, the Frankenstein's monster called Star Trek: Section 31 is finally out. At first, they wanted to make a full-fledged TV series out of it, but ended up spewing it out as an hour-and-a-half B-grade spitball.

Back in the day, “Star Trek: Insurrection” was scolded for being a feature-length movie behind a passable “Next Generation” series. “Star Trek: Section 31” fittingly takes the crown of most failed ‘Star Trek’ project.

“Discovery,” which spawned this movie, can be berated for many things, but not for its lack of ideas. In “Star Trek: Section 31” literally everything is bad.

Let's start with the basics: the very idea of a secret organization is not taken seriously in the fan community. The very idea of it - a section dealing with the dark deeds of Starfleet - contradicts all the ideals of Star Trek, where there is no place for evil and hidden agendas. And to make a movie out of it...

The picture doesn't feel like an independent project, it's like a scene after the credits of “Discovery”. You have to watch at least two seasons to understand what's going on here. No introductions to the characters - you are immediately immersed in the action.

Speaking of characters. I realize they wanted to create some kind of star trek answer to “Guardians of the Galaxy” by introducing diverse and unlikeable characters at the beginning. But you don't need to memorize them, because... Imagine you're watching Guardians of the Galaxy. You're epically shown Groot and Rocket, and a minute later they're killed off.

Also, the movie caught the worst Discovery disease: when there's an attack on a starship, fountains of fire spray inside and rocks fall from the ceiling. Really?! Add to that the strange interior design: there are lamps hanging from every corner, every pillar, every wall, but the room is dark as if it were a rave party. There is no explanation for this.

And now for the biggest disappointment of all, the Oscar-winning Michelle Yeoh. The Star Trek captains have a special disease - they act very insecure in the first few episodes. Kirk, Picard, Sisko, Pike - if you watch the series, you can see that the actors at the very beginning feel out of place. The only exception is Kathryn Janeway from Voyager, who immediately bursts onto the screens with her charisma and energy.

Michelle Yeoh suffered the same fate. Her Philippa Georgiou was also an insecure captain, but managed to show herself as the Empress of the Terran Empire. But the character herself didn't hold any special place in the universe. Why was it necessary to make an entire series (and then turn it into a movie) about a character who quite revealed herself and completed her arc? It's too obvious how Yeoh doesn't try at all and does everything according to the script. And even manages to put on makeup in between scenes.

So what do we end up with in the end? A shoddy movie, which pulls on the Italian bashki from the 70s. Special effects as if from filler series, characters die one after another, you don't even have time to remember them, new alien races, breaking the existing canons, dozens of abstruse scientific words, just to show how serious everything is here. They even managed to cram in the Romulan Empire. I think it was discovered back then, wasn't it?

Oh yes, and humor... In kindergarten they write better jokes....

But it's the sudden star cameo and the hint of a sequel that makes it all worth it. I hope this character will be shown in other series, and we will forget about “Star Trek: Section 31” forever.

Who to advise: if by some miracle you finished “Discovery”. Better to watch “Strange New Worlds” for the third time than this shameful product.